I believe that for me...some of what you are saying is the impetus behind me moving to the beach. The rest of it has come from losing my father and now my great uncle. Hearing the things people said about them at their respective funerals has changed the way I look at life. People all spoke of the amazing things they could do with their hands and how freely they shared the things they could do. They spoke of how well they both lived.
“Lengthened his days.” The Rabbi said in my great uncles eulogy.
I’m tired of shortening mine.
He spoke of life not in terms of longevity (My great uncle was 84) but in terms of activity. Quality.
I’m wasting WAY too much of my life sitting home with the weight of the larger questions crushing me to incapacity. I carry many burdens with me. Many I’ll be casting off over the next few months. No one person should be able to fill 9 of the big U-Haul vans. So between yard sales and trash and giving stuff away I will soon remove the burden of shit from my life perhaps in the process learning to let go of the past to be able to live in the present and keep moving into the future. The packrat lifestyle does not please me so I think I’m ready to try something else.
I have also finally learned for real that the things society thinks are important (money) are really and truly unimportant to me. Last night I was watching tv and stopped on a channel talking about some super yacht that I’m sure all the billionaires have and rather than feeling that little pang of jealousy (why am I not a billionaire?) or envy I thought it was silly and realized as Cheese has often told me...I’d hate that lifestyle. So I am finally ready to move on to the life I actually want to have. I’m moving to the beach. I have decided to work with my hands...it’s the only work that has ever made me happy. Pottery, carpentry, landscaping, whatever! I like having to wash the dirt off at the end of the day. I like seeing something I made. Something that came from my hands.
The things that are important to me are comfort and family. Family including the few people I have met throughout my life that I consider my friends. And the rest of the world can do what they want to do and think what they want to think. I’m going to be happy. Actually...I already am :o) I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off me. When I realized I’d hate the yacht lifestyle I actually began to feel like I was floating (It was kinda weird!). The comfort will be removing myself from the debit game when I sell my house and move. I’ll feel a lot more career freedom when I don’t have a mortgage to pay anymore. It has always really bothered me that the root of the wort mortgage is mort or death. Just noticed there is a gag in there too. And that’s it...having a mortgage to pay chokes the life outa ya!
I’m absolutely sure that this move will have a lot more of my family and friends coming to visit me...other than my mom and my sister no other member of my family has been to my house since I bought it 5 years ago. It’ll be nice to see them!

Ok...I should get on with the cleaning out...dag, did I even respond to any of what you wrote like I originally intended or did I just go off on my own little thing?
:o)