Here's one I just found and had to reprint.
You should check out the picture it was with...


RESUME - GEORGE W. BUSH

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE

COLLEGE:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average.
I was a cheerleader.

LAW ENFORCEMENT:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver`s license suspended for 30 days.
My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

MILITARY:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.

I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn`t find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
-I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
-During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.
-I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
-I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.
-With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father`s appointments to the Supreme Court, I became president after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
- I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
- I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
- I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
- I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
- I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
- I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
- I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.
- In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.
- I`m proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
- I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips by a U.S. President.
- I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.