Monday, January 05, 2004

Gadfly
Perhaps you should have included have included the definition of gadfly for all of our reader.
I do not agree though that isn’t the purpose. Socrates refered to himself as a gadfly. He was put to death (“In the immprtal last words of Socrates…I drank what?” Val Kilmer in Real Genius) for it. He questioned. Like a fly buzzing around your head he questioned. He was persistent.
His deal was to prove to those who thought they knew things that they did not. To try to get the people of his time to get to the point where I believe I (we?) am at now…where I realize my own insignificance in the greater scheme of things and now I need to find some other purpose for my life to fill the lack of purpose.
This is what religion used to do. This is what you blew away with your tarot card statement.
I guess I hadn’t realized it was all just debate to you. I thought you really put some weight into what you seemed to believe as far as the nature of the universe.
Of course in my youthful manner I believed your words to be absolute.
I saw no room for doubt or the changing of minds or anything outside the realm of your essentially telling me you believed in nothing./ Which is pretty much where I’m at now in my life. I believe that life happened. That this Illusion is reality. And that someday it will all end for me.

Infinity and Nothing are two concepts I think we has human beings have a hard time grasping.
I m Having a hard time with the idea of my own mortality…poof I’m gone and history doesn’t notice. Not written history…I guess I mean time. Time doesn’t notice I’m here and it won’t notice I’m gone (Good thing I don’t believe in time as a concept in and of it’s self).
R recently said to me that it’s the people in our lives that we touch that matter. That she couldn’t imagine how different her life would be without me. Aside from being one of the coolest things anyone had ever said to me…400 years from now so what! We owe history nothing. All we have is the very moment we are existing in right now.
We owe history nothing.

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