Sunday, February 29, 2004

How can something be the best thing and the worst thing in the world at the same time?
I just got home from seeing my father, and my mom and sister and some other relatives as well.
My dad has been in a nursing home for a few weeks now…he was in assisted living for a year but they recently gave my mom 30 days to get him out.
The last time I saw my father he was sleeping all the time, incontinent and barely communicating. Now in the nursing home he no longer speaks, he makes faces that scare the hell out of me and the only time he seemed like my dad was when he was asleep. He snored and for the first time in my life the sound that used to drive me more crazy than anything else was the most comforting sound I have ever heard.
I feel sad and most likely always will because I probably told my father I love him more in the past week when it seems like he has the mental capacity of an infant than I did in my whole life prior…my adult life at least.
This has changed my life.
I now know I need to be glad for what I had. Glad for what I have. And take better advantage of the time I have left.

How’s that for a start?

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